Amanda Lelia

Man..

Mon, 10 Aug 2009 20:47:15 GMT

I haven't updated livejournal in years. I look back.. so many things have changed. I've lived in Hammond for the past two years..just moved back to New Orleans. I miss my apartment :/ but I love this freaking city. I start work soon, full time,baby! Ready to make money. Ready to move out. I just got back from Grand Isle with Chere, Oser and Keegan. Man, this world is a beautiful place..I'm ready to go back to the Smokies. I love you all.

Wed, 11 Oct 2006 02:10:20 GMT

People are so damn immature. Seriously. I hate being involved in stupid drama, and going to Chapelle- I just can't seem to get away from it. It's never worth worrying over. You're not going to even see that person anymore when you graduate. It's a waste of breath, a waste of time. I wish everyone would just get along. No, not even get along, just leave all the drama to themselves. Deal with it your own way instead of getting unwanted people into your business.
I can't stand the opinions of my mother, i've finally realized why I dread having conversations with her. I mean, sure, I love her, she's my mother. She does alot for me and I appreciate it. But when it comes to things like, my friends, college, school, the things I do.. it's like we can never, ever agree on anything. Close-minded is her way of thinking, complete opposite of me. She says the worst things at the worst times, and it's almost as though she ENJOYS making me yell. I try not to yell. I try to keep my composure. I'll be out of the house soon enough. I can make it. I tell her all the time how i hate the fact that she is so judgemental toward people that she doesn't even know. One thing will set her off raving about people with tatoos, piercings, hairstyles, clothes. Personality is nothing. Surface is everything. You must make the family look good. Piercings... on your face? I'm crazy for even thinking that while I'm still at the house, she says. To be honest, I think if I got anything dramatic done, she wouldn't tell me anything. She'd probably ask me to take it out, wash it off, change my ways. But that's about it. For instance, she thought my sublime poster represented the devil and asked me to take it down. I didn't, but she just let's it go. I respect her for that, but I just can't STAND the judgements she makes, her way of thinking. Maybe i'm contradicting myself. I'm just venting, so I wouldn't be surprised if I was talking like a hypocrite.

I'm confused. Badly. jdfdlksfj.
If only I could tell you half the shit I'm thinking.
But I'd rather not take the chances.

"It wasn't a question of survival at all. It was the fullness of it. How much you could hold, how much you could care."

OHH, controversy.

Tue, 03 Oct 2006 20:46:04 GMT

I miss last year, and the summer. Fjflkdajflk. This year is getting better, I think. Last weekend really was good. Friday= Katies with Jessie, Casey, Brandi, Michelle. We all crammed in the car, smoked some cloves. Somehow i managed to cut my foot open, but it's okay, really. I don't need stitches! Haha, NEVER! Sushi either wednesday or thursday with all those girls. I love them. I also hung out with Jessie [aris] on saturday, it's been quite a while since it's been just us two, in the car, talking and enjoying the night. I missed it, I missed our talks & the way we understand each other. Good times. I'm so over schooool. I can't wait to graduate, but I really don't want to leave New Orleans. It sucks that the only way I'll get an apartment/my parents will support me is if I move out of the city. Or else they'd make me live at home. I thought about getting emancipated, since I'll be 17 when I graduate, turning 18 in July. I don't know. I was thinking Baton Rouge. Maybe so.

"I wanted to tell her not to entertain despair like this. Despair wasn't a guest, you didn't play it's favorite music, find it a comfortable chair. Despair was the enemy."
-White Oleander; Janet Fitch

Mon, 25 Sep 2006 23:58:08 GMT

i deleted my last entry mainly because i really don't feel the need to look back. on the accident. on the bad times. only the good times. this past summer was byfar the best. i met some really great people, i've gotten close to those i never thought i would. awesome memories. thanks, everyone.

Fri, 11 Aug 2006 05:03:38 GMT

Friends only.

=]

Fri, 07 Jul 2006 03:13:39 GMT

i'm off till saturday. sa-weet =]
idk, i don't really care, i like my job. the people are really fun, so that's cool.
i get to see michael buble' sunday. yay!
i think i'm going to the show at the high ground tomorrow, to see Action Action. maybe.
my birthday is so soon, i'm excited !!!
weee.
this is a retarded entry. yes, go me.

Wed, 05 Jul 2006 06:18:52 GMT

well, lets see..
i work alot. idk why i keep saying that, because i really don't work that much, i just worked everyday but tuesday this past week.
i've been taking alot of polaroids and hanging out with some really cool people.
examples: adrianne, jessie, darren, bethanie, mike, bay, greg. maybe dom if he'd pick up his phone, dangit.
anyway, tonight is fourth of july, and i didn't shoot any fireworks.
but i did catch a glimpse of some while bringing darren home.
the ride was really chill, man i love me some modest mouse.
gas is such a bitch!
ugh, just thought i'd let you know that. i had to refill my tank twice today, blah! okay it wasn't a full tank either time, but whatever.

i'm really happy now. with my friends, life, situations, everything. not to jinx myself (knock on wood)
my birthday is on the 21st. so get me something realllyyy good.
and adrianne's is on the 22nd, so get her something good but not as good as mine.
i feel like watching movies. i think i'm going to see the devil wears prada tomorrow.
go meee.
<3

Thu, 29 Jun 2006 04:39:09 GMT

d00d. i was just reading through my entries, at how depressive i've been in the past week.
wooow, shoot me.
seriously.
that's SO not like me.
blah! i apologize.

anyway, i'm going to bed. goodnight.

Mon, 19 Jun 2006 22:33:31 GMT

So, I'm thinking about making some entries friends only. If you're not on my friends list, and you want to be. Just leave me a comment so I can add you. It'll probably be every now and then, and I'm only doing it cause it might get a wee-bit personal. I love you all.

Sun, 18 Jun 2006 22:55:37 GMT

last night was fun. we went to the alpha chi cafe or something in lafayette for the meriwether/my american heart show. i think the other bands were dameria, waking ashland and something else with 'blue' in it. we went to taco bell during that band because i've only had taco bell once from the storm and i was craving it, and of course everything was open late in lafayette anyway. i met some cooll people. i guess i'll post some pictures from the show up soon. the night before, i went by cypress, but i got there when the show ended. it was a ska show, not my favorite, but i saw like 6 girls that i used to work with at gadzooks so that was pre-tty cool. i miss that place. if only i'd put in a 2 weeks notice. anyway, after darren, chelsea, rob, brandi, casey and i went to brandis and played video games. that was it. nintendo is definitely love. i finally got electricity in the other half of my house. we should be getting carpet soon. yippie.

Sun, 11 Jun 2006 18:33:05 GMT

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HBSArp2lhWY

[sry, idk why the video won't show up on here. lameee. just go to the link and watch.]

haha... late nights on the west bank. =]
p.s. that's brandi laughing that evil laugh, not me. haah. <3

Sat, 10 Jun 2006 04:14:02 GMT

this really is how i'm feeling right now:
(read them, they're worth it.)

Fade in, start the scene
Enter beautiful girl
But things are not what they seem
As we stand at the edge of the world

"Excuse me, sir,
But I have plans to die tonight
Oh, and you are directly in my way
And I bet you're gonna say it's not right"
My reply:
"Excuse me, miss
But do you have the slightest clue
Of exactly what you just said to me
And exactly who you're talking to?"

She said, "I don't care, you don't even know me"
I said, "I know but I'd like to change that soon, hopefully"
Yeah, we all flirt with the tiniest notion
Of self conclusion in one simplified motion
You see the trick is that you're never supposed to act on it
No matter how unbearable this misery gets

"You make it sound so easy to be alive
But tell me, how am I supposed to seize this day
When everything inside me has died?"
My reply:
"Trust me, girl
I know your legs are pleading to leap
But I offer you this easy choice-
Instead of dying, living with me"

She said, "Are you crazy? You don't even know me."
I said, "I know, but I'd like to change that soon hopefully"
Yeah, we all flirt with the tiniest notion
Of self conclusion in one simplified motion
You see the trick is that you're never supposed to act on it
No matter how unbearable this misery gets

I would be lying if I said that things would never get rough
And all this cliche motivation, it could never be enough
I could stand here all night trying to convince you
But what good would that do?
My offer stands, and you must choose

"All right, you win, but I only give you one night
To prove yourself to be better than my atttempt at flight
I swear to god if you hurt me I will leap
I will toss myself from these very cliffs
And you'll never see it coming"
"Settle, precious, I know what you're going through
Just ten minutes before you got here I was going to jump too"

Yeah we all flirt with the tiniest notion
Of self conclusion in one simplified motion
You see the trick is that you're never supposed act on it
No matter how unbearable this misery gets.

Fri, 09 Jun 2006 03:03:26 GMT

i am so so confused.
with this relationship.
i am about to hurt someone.

but, besides that fact, today was really fun. i like hanging out with darren and rob and brandi. they all make me happy.

Wed, 07 Jun 2006 21:20:50 GMT

the spill canvas is coming to the HOB in august.
oh yeaaah!

Tue, 06 Jun 2006 03:40:52 GMT

okay, so update: over the weekend.. friday i went to the high ground to see wheatus and meriwether. meriwether was amazing. yay. saturday i went to cucos and then michelle, brandi, casey and i played with some donkey kong at brandi's. casey and i were the only ones really paying attention. haha. we went by THG for like 2 seconds, ew- i feel as though we've become junkies. well not me, really. okay- anyway! after brandi and i decided to take a trip to the west bank. we met up with rob&darren at barnes and nobles and looked at some pretty explict photography. oh, and rob chased us. and they did some dancing. THEN we decided to go get an icee, but pretty much there wasn't a gas station with icees and i was kinda getting scared because it was getting pre-tee ghetto. then we went to darrens and chill'd on his swing. and went in his backyard. and looked at the places where he takes myspace pictures. haha. okay then we just played some nintendo 64 and went home. i like them, they're fun.

tonight i went to barnes & nobles with brad. it was nice. i love him very much. =]

pictures coming up sooon.

Fri, 02 Jun 2006 04:10:26 GMT

i am so sick of being treated like a fucking toy.

Wed, 31 May 2006 20:34:20 GMT

yesterday, i pretty much spent the day in brad's FEMA trailer. oh, yay- not. i'm so sick of those trailersdjfklsjfgf. we were going to see the da vinci code but no money so just watched duece bigelow. i'm applying for jobs, go me. today i didn't do much but go get subway, and layed in my pool for like 93084 hours. hah, it's pathetic. i have nottthing to do, ever. TONIGHT = THE FLOOD MEMOIRS. oh yeaah! maaah babii boyz! well, i'm getting cucos before or after with bay, so that's a plus. mm mm. i'm dying my hair soon. brandi, casey, and i saw See No Evil, and it was really stupid, although it did scare me at night. haha levee last night, staring at the cars on the causeway that look like little dots was nice. and talking about whales and other stuff. hopefully i can go to pensecola soon, i'm totally ready for a beach vacation. =]

Tue, 23 May 2006 21:21:19 GMT

there was a murder in lafeniere park last night.
=[ that really scares me. and that cop was shot in new orleans yesterday when he pulled someone over for a traffic stop.
really, there's too much crime here.
remember to lock your doors.
ugghhh.

last two exams tomorrow, amen.
♥

Sun, 21 May 2006 22:55:11 GMT

i
hate
exams.

and i hate long distance relationships. brad moves home friday, thank god. and hopefully he won't have to leave-again. even though hurricane season starts june 1st. OH YIPPIE.
today is a really blah day. i had my brothers graduation in the morning, which all but the very end was so dang boring. then i kind of did nothing all day but clean. i really should start studying for exams. oh well, i have end-of-the-year-itis. i mean, we have 3 half days and thats it. summmerrr. i still need a job. this weekend wasn't anything big, the da vinci code on friday, i went by cafe roma for like 10 hours on during the day saturday to see brandi. then sat in my car with jessie for like an hour talking about religion and corruption (go figure.) and at night brandi and i went by cypress, which had alot of younger kids-not cool, and then a bunch of us went to eat at hooters. sat night was the only fun part, really. okay, i sound to sappy so i'm going. ciao.

Sat, 20 May 2006 04:11:11 GMT

so, i saw the da vinci code tonight. even though i'm really "not supposed to" because i'm a catholic and all, but i mean.. it's fictional. you're not forced to believe it. (which i don't)
but i thought it was good, and you should take the time and go see it. but go comfy cause its like 2 and a half hours.

and it was kind of confusing, for all you catholics out there. and when you see it you're going to be like "wtf, no way jose'". trust me, you will.

♥

Fri, 19 May 2006 03:19:32 GMT

ew, my parents are such hypocrites that it's almost funny.

i think i'm going to magazine tomorrow. AH, if only i had money to actually SPEND. i should be getting a job sooner or later. my mom didn't even want to lend me money to eat at sake tonight, how rude. but it was fun and we pretty much sang NSYNC with edward the water-pourer, and then just sang some spice girls. i hope to let everyone reading this know that at sake cafe they charge you for a refill. no, they won't tell you. they'll ask you if you'd like another drink and then just never tell you that they're going to charge extra for it. the drinks are bitesize anyway!#@ whatever, i could go off on subjects like that forever.

as for now, i must return to my a-z project which was due today but emily and i are too much of procrastinators to actually have it done on time.
one more day of school, helppp mee.

♥

Wed, 17 May 2006 02:16:44 GMT

i haven't updated in like, a year. okay, just kidding.

our last full day of school is friday, yesss. brad comes home on the 26th. next friday.
they're some really good shows coming up during the summer at the high ground, so everyone better be there. meriwether, wheatus (yes, they do sing "teenage dirtbag"), foxy shazam!. come'on, you can't get any better than that.

so, saturday i was on my way downtown with greek, vera, jess, and brandi, and oh, what luck, my car over-heats while i'm just sitting in traffic on Canal. perfect. anyway, we had some angel who helped us out because none of us knew ANYTHING about cars. what a long, extensive day.

so here's my schedule for next year:

Senior Schedule

1st Semester 2nd Semester
Religion IV Religion IV
Sociology-A PE II
Civics I -A Civics I -A
Play Production Biology II Env. Sci. Wet.
Study Hall Psychology II-A
English IV-A English IV-A
Adv. Math Topics Accounting CFIN

♥

Wed, 25 Jan 2006 23:04:45 GMT

i feel like i'm missing things.
ugh.

I had one friend in high school recently he hung himself with string
His note said
"If livin' is the problem, well that's just baffling."
And at the wake I waited around to see my ex first love
And I barely recognized her, but I knew exactly what she was thinking of
We sat quietly in the corner whispering close about loss
And I remembered why I loved her, and I asked her why I drove her off

She said
The slow fade of love
Its soft edge might cut you
And our poor friend, Jim
Well he just lived within
The slow fade of love.

so sometimes i get in this creative mood.

Thu, 19 Jan 2006 00:33:26 GMT

so, i guess things are getting back to normal. kind of. except for the fact that i have no walls in my house. but who does these days? mardi gras is coming uppp next month :]] i just can't wait. plus, i get my lisence. FINALLY. ew, i have to work open house tomorrow. go chipmunks. i just felt like an update.
laterrr♥

Tue, 18 Oct 2005 01:30:34 GMT

Greenwood, Mississippi. You learn to love it.

Constructiiion.

Sake, yumm.

BOLANOS!

AHA, poor mel.

BeST FriEnDz MeAnS!

CHATTERBOX & MYSELF.

Lol

bitches.